As new moms, I think we are constantly questioning ourselves. Are we doing things right? Is our baby happy? Does she know how loved she is? These questions are pretty easy to answer. If you’re doing the best you can, then you’re doing great. Your baby is happy, and she definitely knows how loved she is. But then, there are the questions we don’t ask other people because we’re self conscious and feel like we’re the only ones. I don’t have any of the answers to these questions, but I just want you to know that you are not the only one asking yourself these things.
1. Is changing my 8-month-old’s diaper supposed to be this exhausting? It feels like I’m wrestling an alligator! I’m actually winded!
2. Will anything ever gross me out again? Or am I immune from disgust for the rest of my life?
3. My baby really is the most beautiful baby in the world, right? Because I know she is, but I want to know if everyone else feels the same way!
4. Does my pediatrician think I’m crazy? Am I actually crazy? How many times a week is too often to call with “general health questions”? There are people who call more than I do, right? Probably not.
5. Why are baby farts so loud? And is it okay to laugh every time they let one rip? Because I really can’t help it! Is it weird that I’ll miss them when they quiet down?
6. Will my body ever go back to the way it was? Because I have some really cute dresses and jeans I’d love to wear again.
7. Is the arm I hold Emily in always going to be slightly bigger than the other one? And can anyone tell? Because I can definitely tell.
8. Is there such a thing as too many pictures? She’s 8 months old and I have already taken 20,346. This is not an exaggeration, it’s the actual number of photos I’ve taken since my daughter was born.
9. Are all these nicknames going to confuse her? And do other people give their children 1,000 nicknames? She’s Nugget, Nuggles, Nuggiboo, Snuggle, Snuggles, Snugs, Snuggly Nugget, Snuggiboo (sung to the tune of the Liberty Mutual Insurance jingle every time, for some reason unknown to me even though I’m the one who keeps doing it), Princess, Baby, and Emily...how is she ever going to learn her real name?
10. Wait, did she really just do that?! Emily constantly amazes me with every new skill she learns, but sometimes I don’t know if I imagined it or if it was legitimate. This question also pertains to moments of pure horror? Variations on this question include:
Did she really just wave?
Did she really just say “uh-oh”?
Wait, did she really just say bubble?
Did she really just projectile vomit orange all over my couch?
Did she really just poop on me again? I’m out of changes of clothes for both of us!
Did she really just crawl/roll/pull herself up on the ottoman?
Did she really just eat that? And do I really want to call Poison Control again? (I watch Emily like a hawk, so it’s pretty incredible that she manages to eat something questionable at least twice a month and pretty concerning for when she can reach more things)
11. Does supersmell ever go away? Or is it just some weird, never ending pregnancy side effect? I actually think I smell things more strongly now than when I was pregnant, but it is definitely not a superpower I would’ve chosen for myself, especially when there are diapers and vomit involved.
12. Will the laundry and dishes ever be done? Mount Laundry lives on my couch. No matter how many loads I wash, dry, fold, and put away, it never changes size. And neither does the pile of dishes in my sink. There is always that brief moment of satisfaction when the dishwasher is running and the sink is empty, but inevitably, by the time I’m done pressing start on the dishwasher, 5 plates have magically appeared in the sink.
13. How did I not know this about my husband? I thought I knew Andrew pretty well. Then, we became parents and quarantined for 5 months. Now, I know more than I ever needed to, and I often find myself asking, simply, “How?” As in, how did he never realize the “t” in “Home Depot” is silent? How is everything he makes so delicious? How did he go his whole life without washing his hands before cooking? On the bright side, you will definitely eventually hit a point where the disbelief that your husband made it to his current age without knowing or doing these things is just your new normal.
14. Is it okay that I don’t want to spend time away from my baby? We‘re supposed to want girl’s nights and spa days, we need to go back to work to pay our bills, and we should exercise to lose that baby weight and stay healthy for our babies. And yet, somehow, I have no desire to do any of it. All I want to do is bring my little nugget to all of these things with me so that she can be a part of it. After all, a time will come where she wants nothing to do with me, so I’m soaking in every moment I can!
15. Is everyone else obsessed with every little thing about their baby? Personally, I’m obsessed with her little dimpled hands, her chubby feet, her giant cheeks, her dark eyelashes, her golden highlights, the precise pattern and shade of blue of her iris, the shape of her mouth, and pretty much everything else about her. I like to think everyone else feels the same way about their baby, but I’ll never actually know.
The other day, I was talking to my best friend and explaining my efforts to feed Emily eggs. The first time, she didn’t like the texture and projectile vomited them everywhere. The second time, it ended the same way, only there was sweet potato involved as well. The third time, I gave them to her as a finger food, which she found way more fun. She smeared eggy chunks all over her high chair like very dry finger paint, but none actually made it into her mouth. So I did the only thing I could think of. I picked up a piece and held it up in front of her mouth. And she ate it right out of my hand like Gloria eating a treat. I was hoping the modeling would work, but it did not, so I fed her her the entire egg that way, laughing with her as she completed her yellow masterpiece on her high chair tray. “Hey,” my friend said, “Whatever works!” And that, my friends, is the motto for parenthood.
Like I said, I definitely don’t have the answers to these questions. But 8 months in, I like to think I have some perspective. So if you need to change your 8-month-old’s diaper backward while she’s crawling away from you, go for it. If every unintentional sound your baby makes cracks you up, enjoy it. If you need to call the doctor dozens of times in your baby’s first months, do it so you can relax and enjoy your time with her. There’s no such thing as too many pictures or too many nicknames. Do whatever works because as long as your baby is happy, you’re doing great!
What are some of the questions I missed? I’d love to hear them!
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